Have you ever read an essay that was truly funny?
"Yes, but funny depends on my state of mind as well as the essay content. I do not get to the essay until I know about the academic record. And, I do look forward to reading essays from top students. On the other hand, if a student has not taken a very hard curriculum or has declining senior grades, I am apt to think that the student who attempts a humorous essay might have spent too much time trying to be funny and not enough time on school work."
- Mike Sexton, Dean of Admissions, Lewis & Clark College
"Students with imagination and honesty tickle me. Students who do not take the college admission process too seriously can be funny, too."
- Lynne M. Stack, Director of Recruitment, Wheaton College
"Sure. One kid wrote that he felt so inadequate in class that he felt sure he was depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. I thought that was funny."
- Brian Hopewell, Dean of Admission, Lyon College
"I am fortunate to have reviewed all of the admission essays submitted to the College of St. John over the last ten years; and I have admitted many students whose essays were funny. I have never rejected a student whose essays were funny. Most students write serious essays, but there is nothing inherently dangerous about submitting humorous essays. My guess is that most students do not write honestly enough to pull off humor successfully."
- Larry Clendenin, Director of Admissions, College of St. John
"I have never read an essay that I would describe as truly funny. Let me assure you, however, that Union students do have lively senses of humor. It is a rare, rare person who can write consistently funny words. Some achieve a funny sentence here and there. Most often students are funny when they do not intend to be. Or admissions readers are so tired and silly when they are reading that they see humor where it is not intended. If you know that you are a budding Woody Allen, I would encourage you to write a funny piece. Successful comedians are few and far between. That means that the rest of you should aspire to clever or witty and leave the humor to television sitcoms."
- Ann Fleming Brown, Associate Dean of Admissions, Union College
What is the worst thing a student can do on his or her application?
"After lying and cheating and stealing? I think Dante reserved one of the darker and less comfortable circles of hell for college applicants who refuse to read college catalogs. I do not think Dante or anyone else especially cares if the view book slips into the void without close perusal, but the catalog is a different story. Show me an Admissions Dean whose heart is not lifted by the sight of an application informed by a close reading of the catalog!"
- Brian Hopewell, Dean of Admission, Lyon College
"Sloppy writing, misspellings, poor grammar, etc. Drives me crazy! Not following directions on the application is a peeve of mine, too."
- Lynne M. Stack, Director of Recruitment, Wheaton College
"Make it illegible. We are human. First impressions count -- consciously or subconsciously."
- Mike Sexton, Dean of Admissions, Lewis & Clark College
"Perhaps the most damaging thing a student can do is to turn in an application that looks as if no effort went into this exercise --misspelled words, sloppy, incomplete parts of the application, lack of conviction in answering the questions, etc."
- Scott Healy, Director of Undergraduate Admissions, Ohio State
"When a student leaves questions unanswered on his or her college application, he or she runs the risk of the reader filling in the blanks. Am I referring to the questions about your extracurricular activities or your essay? Not really. The biggest holes in applications are things that students leave unsaid. A tame example would be the student who lists his first and most important activity as orchestra yet fails to mention what instrument he plays. (Remember, lots of colleges are looking for string players and oboists.) A more provocative example is the student who indicates that she has been suspended from school but does not mention why. Believe me, admissions readers are happy to try to guess what dreadful thing she might have done. In the academic realm, a student with a low grade in a particular subject needs to explain it. I recommend a short, straightforward paragraph explaining, but not apologizing for, weaknesses or problems in your record."
- Ann Fleming Brown, Associate Dean of Admissions, Union College
If you exceed the college application essay by, say, 200 words or so, is it held against you?
"Two hundred extra words? I cannot imagine a Freshman Composition instructor objecting to more writing rather than less on an early assignment, so it is hard to conceive of an admissions officer doing so, especially if the 200 words were thoughtful and genuine. If I were an applicant, I would want to see how successful my admissions counselor was at writing the assigned essay(s). I never assign an application essay that I do not first write (and revise) myself. This quickly eliminates the clever but inhumane questions that Admissions folk are inclined to foist on applicants."
- Brian Hopewell, Dean of Admission, Lyon College
"Always review your college essay before you send it in. Does every word count? Can you cut a paragraph? Have you repeated yourself? If the extra 200 words are critical and valuable to the essay, leave them in. If you attach extra pages to your application, whether essay or extra-curricular lists, always put your name, address, and social security number at the top of the page. If the extra 200 words are read out of order or lost because your name is not on it, your essay will suffer."
- Ann Fleming Brown, Associate Dean of Admissions, Union College
"Not if it was worth the extra time, but bigger is not always better ..."
- Mike Sexton, Dean of Admissions, Lewis & Clark College
"No. We invite students to submit supplemental materials if they wish to. Generally, students use their good judgment about quantity."
- Elena Ruocco Bachrach, Dean of Admissions and the First Year, Bennington College
